i'm deathly afraid of settling. to just accept that things are meant to be this way. to accept second, third or fourth best. to one day say something like 'it is just too hard', and give up. no that isn't how i wish to live my life. i refuse to settle. i refuse to take what i think is anything less than what i want. that is how i want to live, and how i want to love. nothing more, nothing less. i don't need the best job in the world or the best paying one, i just want that specific one. and i don't need the richest or smartest or best looking or most eligible guy in the world, i just want that one who is right for me. that makes me feel deep in my gut that this is right. who loves me wholeheartedly, and i love wholeheartedly. it doesn't really matter whether we end up having a life together, get married or whatever, as long as i have met this person in my life, spend an amount of time with him. i think i can die a happy person. honestly.